My entry for Kaitlyn Sanchez’s annual writing contest, “Fall Writing Frenzy”. Enjoy! The photo is by Josh Hild on Pexels.com (One of 14 offered to writers as a prompt). I worked hard on this piece which is less child-focused than I had originally intended, but I think the theme is universal.
Sometimes I want to be alone.
I don’t want anyone to “fix it.”
I don’t want to be told I am ok.
I don’t want to be told to smile.
I just want to be quiet and to think.
To be unjustly mad and sad and tired.
But…
Sometimes all I want is to be found.
I want someone to say “We have missed you.”
I want to know my being is enough.
I want to feel the weight of a warm hand
Resting on my shoulder:
Holding space for my feelings,
When they’re too heavy for me to hold alone.
And…
If you see me by myself,
It may be hard to know,
Do I step in or do I step away?
The line between alone and lonely can be nebulous.
Precarious as hammocks in the fall,
Which beckon but belie uncertainty.
Will you be welcomed with a swaying calm,
Or tossed into the unforgiving leaves?
So…
If there is no way to know: just be.
Let me decide what kind of space I need.
Like rustling branches whisper “I am here.”
And if I need you, I’ll extend my hand.
But if I don’t… I hope you’ll understand.
Melanie Kyer
September 24, 2023